Courting the Sun
by iCe
Summary: AU: In anger for acting against the Phoenix King, a young godling was thrown from the Realm of the Gods into the World of Man. He was told to live among the mortals and learn his lessons in their their world. And to this day, the godling has lived with man, trying to gain favour and learn how to become a god once again.
1. Book 1: Fire

_Earth, Fire, Water, Air._

_Long ago, the gods who ruled the elements bickered and fought amongst themselves, until the Phoenix King asserted himself as supreme ruler. He was a flame deity, and as such, was more temperamental than most of the other gods. But he had an iron fist when it came to their rule, and he divided all those under him into the four elements._

_The gods of Earth were ruled by the goddess of justice._

_The gods of Water were ruled by the goddess of the moon._

_The gods of Air were ruled by the god of children._

_The gods of Fire were ruled by the god of war._

_And all were ruled under the Phoenix King, god of the sun._

_But this is not their story._

_A young godling once came into the court of the Sun God. He was ordered to shine brightly and bring draught to a village that protected the young god protected, but the young god disobeyed. In anger for acting against the Phoenix King, the young god was thrown from the Realm of the Gods into the World of Man. He was told to live among the mortals and learn his lessons in their world._

_A curse was placed on him by the Phoenix._

_And to this day, the godling has lived with man, trying to gain favor and learn how to become a god once again._

* * *

><p><strong>BOOK 1: FIRE<strong>

Zuko has felt pain before. A god feels pain but does not notice it. But somehow, today, he felt differently. As if it had not been compartmentalized. As if this pain had taken his entire being and he was only that entity. Zuko was not so much in pain as he _was_ pain. He suddenly understood the word and realized that what he knew as pain previously was paltry in comparison.

He was a flame god, he was born of fire, and so he hurtled down as a shining star, burning brightly amidst the morning sky, falling from the high realms into the ones below. When he crashed, it took several flickers of flame before he could manage to move.

When he managed to achieve movement, it took him several more flickers to get used to the idea. He tested the well of his power and learned that he could not form into the dragon that he was. The human was easier, because humans were less mystical beings than dragons.

The shift had been excruciating at first, as soon as it finished, he realized that being flame was less painful, but it had burned more from his reserve, so he endured the pain and took several more breaths before trying to form clothes, which was successful, and from which his dual Dao swords also appeared. Momentarily surprised that they were allowed to be with him, he sheathed them on his back as he was accustomed to.

He tried to bend fire, and it was slightly more difficult than usual. The flame was erratic in his hands and small, so he snuffed it out. At least he could still bend. And surprisingly, as long as he didn't access more of his spirit, the pain could bank into bearable. He hoped it would dull and cease with time.

He looked around, noting where he fell, the lonely stretch of dirt road between here and nowhere. He slowly regained his sense of the mort realm and realized that he was close to his own shrine. Now having a destination, if not a plan, he faced resolutely towards the pull of his eternal fire and took his first step as not-god-but-not-quite-mortal and sought his shrine.

oOo

The shrine of the God of Perseverance, sat in the middle of a green forest, built by a wanderer who had found enlightenment. It had been built shortly after Zuko had been tested for his affinity and had grown into his godhood. It was a fairly new shrine, with only a few retainers.

As soon as Zuko stepped into the shrine, he felt power ripple across him. The pain which he'd been used to since being thrown down, ceased. This was his boundary. His power was stronger here, but he himself needed to sustain it. And since he has been greatly diminished since he was thrown down, he could sustain some of the shrine but not all of it.

The retainers all sank low on their feet when he came close, bowing to him, knowing him instinctively as he came. He looked at the handful that had greeted him, and knew that he was going to have to let them go. Even banished, he could sustain the shrine, but the spirits needed the bridge to the higher realms to survive. Since he was cut off, the shrine was going to be cut off.

"I'm not sure if you've heard," Zuko said slowly as he looked at them. "I've been banished."

The spirits all looked up at him, and a fox spirit finally slowly rose from the ground to bow before him. "I am sorry, my lord, we have served you well these past few years. Let us serve you while we are able."

Zuko shook his head snapped his fingers to show his flame, then quickly snuffed it. "I can't ask you to be wraiths in this shrine until I take my godhead again. My uncle is the God of War, he'll take you in until I'm capable of sustaining all of you."

The fox spirit fanned out his hand to show a scroll. "The unanswered prayers of devotees, my lord."

Zuko accepted, and between one blink and the next, he was alone in his shrine. They couldn't do anything else but leave. He had given his orders, and they had obeyed. He sighed as he trudged up the steps, the shrine wasn't large, and when he threw open the inner sanctum, he stepped in between the gate between the real world and the next. The small world contained within the shrine's sanctum.

He pulled in the power from the outermost rooms, until all that was left from what was once a world within worlds was an inner sanctum and a small room for sleeping. He walked slowly towards the inner hall and saw his eternal flame. It was still burning though it had lessened in intensity. Behind it, a gate was closed and sealed, symbol of his banishment from the higher realms. Once it would have opened into a bridge towards the higher realms, an easier access to his own dwelling in the higher planes.

He brought out the Dao swords and laid them in front of the flame watching them slowly take form. Forged in the same fire, the twins had been made for him by his mother as a gift. Meifeng had taken a female form and Jiang male, both with long flowing platinum blond hair and glittering silver eyes, the only distinguishing factor was a mole near Meifeng's right eye representation of the small jade that his mother had placed on her hilt.

"You should leave too," Zuko said.

"We serve the God of Perseverance," Meifeng told him, her voice the airy whisper of wind against the blade when it moved.

"We serve until we are no longer spirit," Jiang affirmed, his voice was strong and solid, the clash of swords when it hit a hilt.

"We serve until we are no longer blade," they both said at once, "We serve until only cold steel is left, until the day that our blade rusts and turns into dust."

Unlike the others, he could not simply order Meifeng and Jiang to leave. They had been given to him by his mother, and with love she had entrusted them to him, and him to them. It would be painful if he lost the two of them. They've been with him since he was old enough to use the sword, and they've saved him from more than one vengeful god.

He nicks both of his wrists until blood is flowing and offered it to them. They both knelt down before him and took two sips before lifting their lips from his skin and looked up to him. The wounds stopped bleeding when he rubbed against it, sealing it close. "I don't know how long I can sustain you."

"A blood offering is powerful, my lord," Meifeng soothed him. "We will not use this form and keep to the blade so that we will not squander it."

Jiang nodded. "An offering On the morning of the eve of the new moon - when your power is strongest - for every new moon should keep us as spirits. We do not need to visit the higher realms to exist. We are sturdier beings than that."

"You are our anchor, my lord," she reminded him as they both dropped to the ground, swords once more.

Well at least he knew he could keep them both. He looked around the shrine. It felt dilapidated already, his power diminished and the retainers gone.

He didn't understand the terms of his banishment. He didn't even understand the terms of his curse. But he knows that at least, he was going to be able to survive in this world. He turned towards his room, it was simple with one futon. He didn't need sleep, but he was temporarily human, and he felt it's pull. The sun was still high, but the use of power had exhausted him. He had managed to conserve most of its use, but a little rest would do him good.

Tomorrow, he was going to ask questions, and hopefully get some answers.

His uncle's shrine was close to his own. He would visit. He would walk, because that would use less of his reserve. Happy that at least he had a half formed plan, he slept.

oOo

Zuko was thankful that his uncle's shrine was across the forest and not across the river. The boundary of his uncle's protection and Zuko's own was blurred but was present and at least he would not waste more power than necessary to reach his uncle. He left his shrine early the that day and left wards against evil entering the place, while one of the Dao swords was at the hearth so that it would at least send him warning if things were amiss.

Given the fact that he was a banished god, and that his shrine didn't have anything valuable, he doubted that spirits would suddenly try and scavenge things from his shrine. Besides, his uncle's shrine was nearby, if his own presence wasn't a hindrance, his uncle's certainly was.

His uncle was standing at the gateway of the rather large and elaborate shrine to the God of Tea, motioning for Zuko to come in. He was expected. He had sent his servants to come to the shrine, after all, and he had been banished. His uncle would have waited for him until he came.

Iroh, God of War, Lord of the Fire gods, God of Tea, Dragon of the West. Zuko's uncle. Zuko wondered if he was forgetting more titles.

Iroh snapped them into the dining area, the use of spirit fluid enough, that one moment, Zuko was walking under the shrine's gates, and the next he had to catch himself from falling down while sitting in front of a low table. He had never had the problem before, but he guessed there were some things that his demotion had given him that he would have to get used to.

Iroh pushed a tea cup towards him while a fox spirit in human form served them. Zuko knew it was useless to talk to his uncle before tea was served so he drank his cup and waited until Iroh spoke. "There is no justice in the spirit world. It is a human concept. There is war, and there is a semblance of ownership. There are no laws. We keep balance in an intricate set of hierarchy. We understand power and we serve those who have more than we do."

It was useless to talk about the culture they were steeped in. Zuko understood it. He might not like it, but he understood that there was nothing to govern beings that were as powerful as gods. A flash of temper could sink an island or build an entire race of new beings. What they had were boundaries of capabilities. "I'm not going to seek revenge against, father, uncle."

"No, you love your father too much," Iroh said slowly. "I wonder if the Goddess of Justice weeps at the fact that she is only revered here in the land of man."

"I don't think she cares too much. She's a young goddess. Younger than me." Zuko shrugged. Gods skirmished, but there were gods who were always content with their lot in life. "She's powerful enough to be granted rule over all Earth gods."

Iroh listened to the assessment and said slowly, "Do you know her well then, my nephew?"

"I know her enough. We were born three hundred years apart." By their realm's definition, they were treated almost the same age, most of their childhood had been spent together. "I was there when she was tested."

"That's good, that's good," Iroh murmured. He took another long sip of tea before he said, "Your power well has been cut off by breaking your connection to your spirit. To form that connection and earn your godhead again you must forge it."

"You mean, I have to visit all the major gods and ask for their blessings again?" He had done so when he came of age, the blessings would form the bridge to his core and with it, his connection back to the higher realms. "They're going to ask impossible tasks again."

"I only asked for you to bake bread," Iroh reminded him.

"Out of nothing. In one night," Zuko muttered. It had seemed a lifetime ago. "You're the only major god from the past that hasn't left."

"There has been ah... a change in management. The older gods like ruling in the higher realms and leave the lower realms to younger gods." Iroh shrugged, he has always liked the realm of man. Tea was abundant, and there was less quarrelling. He thought it was better even if men kept calling him "Dragon of the East" when he was clearly a "Dragon of the West." "Honestly, I do not see the appeal. Although ruling here means I have to check all of the flame gods that are present in this realm, it's much better than the warring in higher realms."

"Are you going to ask me to bake bread again?" Zuko asked, frowning in dislike for the task.

"No. I'm asking you to boil tea."

Zuko groaned. That was possibly the only other answer worse than baking bread.

oOo

Tending to Iroh's shrine was a learning experience. As a god, he hadn't been brought up to know menial labor, but Iroh was a guiding hand. He put Zuko's fairly young back to work around the shrine, showing Zuko how to work with the human implements that were stored in the shed and how to care for those that were in the shrine.

Zuko complained about Iroh having spirit workers to tend to his shrine instead, but even with the complaints, and Iroh's laughter, Zuko worked diligently. During the first few days he had to be told what to do, and how to do it. He resented it a little, but he learned. Manual labor didn't have a steep learning curve, but for a godling, most of the work was new. And while he didn't understand the work, it did conserve the small amount of spirit that he managed to generate ever since he was cut off from his core.

At the end of every day, Zuko made tea. He boiled tea and brought it to his uncle to be judged. Iroh always drank the tea that Zuko made but never commented on it. And after each session with the tea, Zuko sighed and went to quarters specifically set aside for him to sleep.

On the last day of the week, Zuko was summoned by his uncle before he could start the day with the shrine. "You need to go back to your shrine at least every week, nephew. You need to tend it or you will not be able to generate even the small amount of spirit you've been using to sustain your life. I'll send you home for today. Come back tomorrow, bright and early."

And in one moment, between lifting a tea cup, and sipping the hot liquid, Zuko was back in his shrine in front of the sacred fire. Zuko placed the Dao sword that was strapped to his back on the shrine's fire again. This close to the shrine's eternal flame, it was easier for them to use less spirit.

He passed his hand through the fire and it's slow burn blazed brightly again. Satisfied that he could still feed the eternal flame he stood up to begin another day of purifying the grounds, cleaning the well and emptying the sacrificial boxes. He swept the ash of the incense holders and generally tried to make his shrine clean again. It was an endless string of menial work, but there was no one else to do it but him. In a way, he was thankful that Iroh had taken time for him to learn in his uncle's shrine. At least all of the duties were not new.

oOo

What Zuko does notice, is the dwindling people who go and seek his shrine. He didn't blame them for leaving, he could not grant large prayers, so he had been limiting himself to basic blessings.

As soon as Zuko realized this he brought it up to his uncle as he served tea. "How many years have I been boiling tea?"

"Noticed it have you, my nephew?" Iroh murmured as he took the tea cup in his hands. "It has been eighty years since your banishment. It is merely a blink of the eye for you, my nephew. But tell me, what have you learned in my shrine?"

Zuko paused to think on it. He looked at the tea cups, did a quick calculation and said, "That there are twenty five thousand three hundred seventy nine ways to seriously make undrinkable tea." There was irritation and annoyance in his countenance.

It earned him a laugh from Iroh.

oOo

Initially, Zuko didn't notice her. She was one of the supplicants who came in weekly to pray, and he gave as much blessing as he could. The day to day blessings didn't need power, it only needed some spirit, and he had enough of that. Usually, the gods doled out blessings to siphon off extra spirit that could not be stored in their power well. Ever since he had been banished, there had been too little access to his core, therefore he could give his blessings to a few people, and sometimes, none at all, because he could not spare some. He generated enough for day to day living and upkeep of the shrine after he'd pulled the reserves, but there was too little extra to give to other people.

Her devotion singled her out, though. Long past other people left for stronger gods, she came always to his shrine to offer food. Sometimes she burned money. He watched her cautiously as he continued on with the upkeep of gardens, raking the stones, trimming the hedges. He had decided a long time ago, that he'd conserve more power if he did the things manually than expending light tendrils of his spirit for the regular upkeep of the shrine. Because of this, he was usually around the shrine on her day of worship.

Sometimes, she just left the offerings and then went home. Other times, she stayed longer, staying in the gardens, sitting on one of the stone benches, watching the birds. Sometimes, she flipped a knife idly in the air, and threw it at a dead tree just outside of the shrine. He smiled in amusement at that particular play, and was just thankful that none of the trees in his garden were sacred. He couldn't invest in that much power leeching from him.

It was months before they came across each other without the entire shrine in between them. She stopped toying with her knives, swiftly hiding it inside her sleeves before she nodded towards him in greeting. Uncomfortable about meeting a devotee for the first time, Zuko shifted from one foot to the other leaning on his rake.

They were staring at each other, measuring each other calmly. She was pale, dressed in the lucky reds that flame gods favored. Her hair was tied in two buns announcing that she was an unmarried female. Her eyes were light brown, close to hazel. She was, he supposed, beautiful in the way that the females in this particular part of the realm had labeled beauty. She had a blank expression as they both stood in front of each other.

"You should pray to the God of Tea instead," Zuko finally blurted out, uncomfortable with the staring match. He hadn't been scrutinized that way since he'd been a child. He'd been subject to many stares before, but not one quite as focused as this one.

"This is the shrine of the God of Perseverance, right?" the girl asked bewildered. Motioning to the small shrine. "Why should I pray to another god when I need perseverance?"

Zuko frowned, he couldn't very well say that he didn't have power any more. And her argument was sound. He just thought that she deserved to have her prayers answered for her devotion. "He's abandoned this place. He can't grant any more wishes."

"Maybe, or maybe you just abandoned your faith in him," the girl said softly before giving him a small bow and then leaving through the shrine gates.

Zuko stared after her.

oOo

Iroh watched Zuko closely as he moves in the tea god's shrine, doing little chores that as a flame god, as a prince, had been beneath him.[3] If there was one thing to be said about Zuko, it was that he worked hard. He was impatient, he was arrogant, but Zuko didn't stop until a task was done. Gods do not change easily because of the length of time that they've lived and will live, there was no impetus for change. But when they do, the changes were drastic.

He wondered if Zuko even noticed. Living by himself, trying to get his godhead, it brought the godling down a few notches.

He broached the sensitive topic over their evening tea session because he knew that the suggestion might anger Zuko. "Nephew, I know that trying to find your godhead has been a priority for you, but have you not considered living out the rest of your life as human instead of a god?" The higher realms was weaved in spirits and it was more awe-inspiring than the land of man. The land a god owned was formed by his will and his strength, his boundaries set by his powers and thus... limitless. There were kingdoms within kingdoms, and a god with enough power could form entire cities where lesser spirits could live if he had the temperament to do so. But there were skirmishes there, and an utter lack of law. There was corruption in a way that humans could not fathom.

"I have been a god all my life," Zuko said in a controlled, even voice. "If you strip that away from me, who am I? I cannot do that. I must regain my godhead."

Iroh sighed, stubbornness was also a weakness of the gods. When a god walks in the land of man, he is remembered more often than if he walks in the higher realms. A lot of the old gods have diminished from being lost in memory.

"I am a flame god, I am the God of Perseverance. I am the thirteenth dragon prince," Zuko stated the titles to reaffirm himself. That he was still a god despite lacking his godhead. That he was still a prince, despite not being able to become a dragon. That he was still flame even though he could not reach for his well. "I cannot give up because it has taken a human lifespan. If it takes me ten human lifespans to build the bridge to my core and dig my power well deep, then I will live ten human life spans in this land. But you cannot ask me to abandon this purpose. There is a reason why I am perseverance. It is not an empty title."

Iroh looked at his nephew in respect. Conviction like that does not usually come from their breed. They were fickle, and they were almost endless. Centuries of being alive and having almost unlimited power does not cultivate dedication. Iroh raised his tea cup to his nephew in salute.

Because he could do no less.

oOo

It was weeks before Zuko met the girl in his shrine again. He had continued his cautious watch on her when she was inside, but his current power was did not allow him to keep his watch on her beyond the shrine's vicinity. She came regularly, even after his warning. He hadn't been avoiding her exactly, he just wasn't comfortable meeting her again after her revelation.

She greeted him with nods, and he with a small wave that he had seen his uncle do when his uncle was faced with a devotee who thought he was human. Once when he was chopping branches from a low lying tree, she came to him with a puzzled expression on her face. "You look after everything here."

Although it was a statement and not a question, Zuko felt that he needed to respond. He stopped sawing and leaned against the ladder, looking down on her. "Most of the shrine spirits left with the god was... injured. He can't sustain them anymore."

She frowned. He wondered if it was over the shrine spirits, or because of the injury. "You're still here," she pointed out.

"I'm different," he agreed. Climbing down the ladder to meet her eye to eye. That and because it must have hurt her neck to look up at him from the ground. She had been the only person who'd stayed in the shrine for longer than the prayers. She'd certainly been the only person who tried talking to him, and he'd been working as the shrine's very visible guardian since he'd been banished.

There was a puzzled look in her eye. There was a small hesitation before she asked, "What are you?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. What to answer to that? He could lie, but it was a poor exchange for someone who has remained devoted for so long. He supposed he could answer that he was this shrine's god, but with the way he'd been persuading her to leave, he doubted she'd believe her. That and he hadn't seen any shrine gods do menial labor around their shrines. They had other spirits for that. "If I said I'm a blue spirit, would you believe me?"

She snorted in disbelief. "A blue spirit? In a flame god's hearth?"

Zuko smiled a little. Because it was that funny sometimes. "You don't believe me?"

"No. But I think you are a spirit," she agreed before, curiosity satisfied, she turned to walk away.

Zuko grimaced. She was just a shade of impertinent, coming up and asking what he was when she hadn't even extended the courtesy of informing him who she was. Once, he would have known just by virtue of her being in his land. But it was useless to think of things he'd lost.

Just as soon as he thought it, she turned back. "I'm Mai. I live in the city just west here. Thank you for keeping the shrine clean."

Zuko thought he should thank _her_. She was one of the reasons why he was still in this realm. If the God of Perseverance was forgotten by mortals before he regained his godhead, he as going to fade away as a wraith himself. It would take him longer than the spirits, but it would pass. "Zuko."

"What?"

"My name. It's Zuko," he said. A true name. Whispered to this mortal in his shrine. He had just impetuously handed her his life. He seriously doubted that it'd occur to her to exorcise him, but he had granted her means to do so.

She walked back to him again. They stood there together, facing each other, lost in another stare. He hadn't known what to say, he wasn't human enough to fill these pauses with inane conversation. She was content with staring. She was fond of these long stares, and he felt like she was having a wordless conversation with him, and he was not translating the words into actions. She had suddenly made a decision about him, and for the life of him, he didn't know what it was. She merely said, "Your eyes are like a serpent's."

Zuko blinked slowly. Finally understanding the reason she knew he was a spirit. He was a dragon, and his eyes could not hide him. He was a flame god, and his eyes were burnt amber. One of his eyes was human enough, he supposed, but the other was a true seeing eye because his father had taken his other one out. He could not change that aspect of his human guise. "I'm not a fox spirit."

"I didn't think you were," she tilted her head, as if trying to fit him in the categories of spirits that she knew. He had suddenly become a great puzzle to her, something that she wanted to figure out, to pass time and relieve boredom. "See you next week?"

"Next week," he affirmed. She nodded at his agreement and turned to walked away. It would be the beginning of many, many goodbyes shared between the two of them.

oOo

Zuko stoked the fire slowly as he chose which herbs he was going to use. He was in the shrine of the God of Tea. They had limitless amounts of what was required. He prepared the whisk and he meticulously measured the water and the leaves.

He noticed his uncle watching him from the sides. Zuko tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Do you plan to keep me boiling tea forever?"

Iroh leaned over and watched him with the tea and frowned. He looked at Zuko with a small smile and replied, "You will stop boiling tea, when you are ready to stop boiling tea."

Zuko was suddenly scared that his uncle would not be satisfied with any amount of work that he produced. When he had been asked to bake bread from nothing, there had been an objective goal. Solid evidence that he'd completed his task. Boiling good tea for his uncle was a completely different thing. "Forever is a long time for an immortal, uncle."

There was a puzzled look in his uncle's face as he looked from the preparation to Zuko. "Do you think you'll never be ready?"

Zuko took a deep breath. It went against everything in him to even think that he could not complete his task. But he'd learned things in this realm, and he was no longer as sure as he was when he first fell. "I don't know."

oOo

Through the months that Mai visited in his shrine, she gradually learned that he was all right with her practicing her knives against the rather large and dead tree gracing the side of his garden. She practiced it effectively and with single-minded purpose. He had asked her once why she chose them and she'd shrugged, saying that the knives were better than boredom, they were easily hidden in her clothes therefore easily tucked away before her mother saw them. That they had been pilfered from her uncle's weapon stash.

She wasn't talkative, but neither was he. They'd settled into companionship as if they've had always had it, in easy silence and shared labor. Zuko puttered around the shrine, and she hiding away from the world. He didn't ask for whatever reasons that she'd hidden from it. Shrines were sanctuaries, and it shouldn't matter what it was that you were running away from, as long as there was a place that welcomed.

Sometimes, she would sit down from throwing knives and watch him work. Sometimes, she would talk to him. From her, he learned the small intricacies of being human, the little things that couldn't be learned from watching. Sometimes she would ask questions. They never talked about their own homes, they had a tacit agreement not to, and both of them respected it.

Zuko did not understand her continuing devotion. He didn't understand the reason why she favored this shrine above all others. He didn't understand a lot of things about Mai. Sometimes he asked about it, "Why do you stay so long here? I mean, I understand the prayers, and the knives, but you stay well past those."

"Because it's not boring here. Because it's the only place my mother would allow me to go at any length of time without supervision," she said lightly. Zuko always knew there was a small tension between Mai and her mother. She readily talked about her brother and her father, but her mother was a topic that she didn't care for. She had been closer to her grandmother than her own mother. "Besides, we're in the shrine of the God of Perseverance. I need his blessings to be able to finish learning this, right?"

He watched her as she continuously tried to hit a small branch at one hundred paces. She was getting better with the knives, he could tell. She was hitting the target with greater frequency and she was more fluid with it. "You're capable of a great deal of things without the shrine god's blessings."

"I can't believe the god here lets you stay when you actively try to dissuade loyal devotees," she said in exasperation while letting knives fly from her fingertips in a measured pace. She finally hits a small branch and smiles in satisfaction. "Now if I could reproduce that while dancing."

Was he trying to turn her away? Was he trying to test her devotion? To know without any doubt that she believed? That she belonged to him? More than the fact that he didn't understand her, he didn't understand the need to _understand_ either. It was a feeling he didn't examine too much. So he repeated her words instead, "While dancing?"

"Sure, I don't think enemies would really leave me to stand still."

There was truth in that. Zuko just didn't understand why she had to be dancing. "Just make sure I'm not near when you start that round of practice. And please, please try not to hit the incense rack."

She glared at him for even suggesting it. And then she began practicing again while he began raking leaves.

oOo

Their uneasy friendship began with an argument. Because he was stubborn that way, and so was she. Or maybe it was because he refused to do things the easy way. Mai called Zuko down from patching the shrine roof a lacquered box in hand, as she shielded her eyes from the glaring sun.

He jumped down from the roof and landed beside her in a swirl of dust. It had been an impressive feat for a human. She was a little annoyed at the little dust cloud that he'd generated but shoved the lacquered box into his hands and a set of chopsticks in another.

He looked at the offering with curiosity, wondering what the articles where when Mai settled down on her favorite stone bench under a large Royal Fire Tree. She gave an exasperated huff as she producing her own chopsticks from her sleeves and began eating from an identical box. "I don't cook very well... there are other people who cook for me, but I thought you always work hard and I've never seen you take a break."

Mostly because he was a god and he didn't need to take things like breaks and food. Of course, since his banishment, sometimes he took in some of the offerings to sustain him, and slept in the evenings. As with most human things he did lately, it was to conserve what little spirit he had access to. "Thanks," he murmured, wondering if he had deciphered her words right and she'd made the small box that was in front of him.

"You do ... eat, don't you?" Mai asked tentatively watching him from the stone chair.

Realizing that he'd been staring at the box for a while, he grinned at her and sat on a rock opposite her bench and opened the lunch she'd prepared. He opened his own box and tasted the food. It had too much salt and a lot of spices. He would have refused to eat it had he been served the dish before banishment. He swallowed it without much comment, dulling the salt with rice. "Sometimes."

It had been the right answer. She gave him one of her rare smiles before she ate again. They shared the entire meal in silence before she found another curiosity. "Why are your eyes unmatched?"

Zuko lifted his hand towards the left eye, gouged out by his father before falling into this realm. "It was a gate to a higher realm. I was banished." His father would have burned his face out, but had decided against it. Though a burning would take time to heal, Zuko was a god, he would still heal it. There would be no trace of the banishment if he had burnt. And he was a flame god, burning might not have worked. So his father had taken the eye instead. With the eye securely in Ozai's palm, Zuko could not effectively heal it.

"My mother just tells me to be quiet and don't disgrace the family," she sounded bitter when she said it. But she looked back at his eye with a small contemplative frown, "But I guess mine can't compare to yours. Can you still see in that eye?"

"It's an eye of a dragon," Zuko explained, which was in itself, not an explanation at all. His right eye was his spirit eye. His left eye, 'human'. It made for wonderful dizzying colors, and different parallelisms. Humans just don't understand how many realms are hidden within their own. Sometimes, it unbalanced him when he saw two different things at once.

They were silent for a time as they ate. Then, trading her stories for his, she tells him, "My grandmother used to come here with me, when I was small. She was very devoted to the shrine god because she'd been barren for so long. She just wanted a child and he'd granted her one, and then with my parents came me.

My parents, well they weren't very religious. But my grandmother had promised the god to visit always if she'd be given a son. That's why I visit. Because I had to keep my grandmother's pact."

Zuko frowns a little trying to remember if he'd granted this prayer, but seeing Mai he estimated that her father was maybe in his late thirties. Unless her father was more than eighty years, he doubted he had any hand in the miracle of the birth. The pregnancy had happened after his banishment and it was something that he had not bestowed, no matter how many incense sticks were lit. "I'm not sure your grandmother's faith on him is deserved. There have been no miracles granted by this shrine in a while."

Mai stood up abruptly, taking the empty box from his hand and wrapping it in a large handkerchief that she'd used to carry the lunches to him. Mai was not prone to show emotion with words, but he felt her anger in waves. She had a way of conveying her words through the slant of her eyes, the move of her shoulders. Mai did not spend time talking about what she was, she just was. A small vein was pulsating on the base of her neck that showed the anger, and the flash of her eyes were strong. Somehow, he'd angered her with the careless words.

He tried to apologize, but he was still a god, and apologies did not come naturally to him. "I just don't believe you should put all your faith in this god and his miracles."

"You don't make sense. You spend time under this god's grace and yet you're here undermining his work. You work here but you don't believe," Mai whispered as she stood up. They'd never understood each other. They always disagreed especially when it came to the prayers. "Did you even think, did you even wonder, that maybe though this shrine's god didn't grant a miracle, this place gave her the strength to continue trying? It matters. This place matters."

That was the longest words he'd heard strung together from Mai. The most passion that she had seen flare in her eyes.

He was struck with the words, and he realized after all of this time, that he'd just been living, he was still being guided with what to do, that he had continued existing but hadn't begun to think for himself.

And this girl had brought him painfully aware of it.

But more than the words, he was unnerved by the faith she put in him. A god so many had abandoned, even by his own father, had been defended by this girl. What do you say to someone who has believed unconditionally in you for their whole lives? What can you say to someone who didn't want to see the ugly truths and the character flaws?

"I just don't see why you put so much stock in the God of Perseverance," he tried to explain. He couldn't find the words when he couldn't believe. "I don't see why he's special."

"I don't think you quite appreciate the meaning of faith," Mai whispered. Faith. Another human concept. Gods don't need to believe, they just know. Zuko realized he missed that. The _certainty_ of his existence. Now, here in this realm, there was doubt because he was not god enough to _know_. He had been a fool not to realize that he wasn't just a banished god, he was more human than spirit.

"Mai -" She started walking away. He ran after her. He didn't know how to make it right. He wasn't human enough to know how to make it right. He ran his hand through his short hair. "Are you coming next week?"

She stopped. Closed her eyes then heaved a sigh. "Yes, of course. I made a promise to my grandmother to come here. I'll be here regardless of you."

"Okay," Zuko said, calm now that he hadn't completely destroyed her faith in him because he found that he needed someone to believe. Because he couldn't believe in himself. "Okay, Mai. See you next week."

oOo

He was preparing the tea formally today. Zuko looked at his uncle wondering if he underwent the motions well enough. He had heard that humans tried to study the formal tea ceremony for ages. It had lasted for longer than the usual boil and served that he'd been accustomed to, and though his body didn't ache necessarily, there was a little strain from sitting on his legs for too long.

He heard an appreciative murmur from his uncle, and Zuko relaxed in visible relief. Good tea. He was able to make good tea today. Maybe not as good as his uncle's retainers, but well enough.

"Tell me, my prince, what have you learned?" a similar questioned echoed that his uncle asked him from time to time.

He'd answered flippantly before, sometimes he'd answered with a grunt. He opened his mouth to make another inane comment but his uncle looked at him with a seriousness that made Zuko pause. Maybe now would be the best time to tell his uncle that he wasn't content in making tea anymore.

"I realize that to steep tea too long would make it bitter. Not long enough and it would leave it bland..." Zuko started, and he wondered if tea metaphors was the way he wanted to talk to his uncle. "All this time, I've been the water, and I've been absorbing the knowledge you've given me. But I think I need to find my own way. It may not be the right way, it might not be the sure way, but it is my own."

He raised his eyes towards his uncle. "I don't want to steep here too long and become bitter. I think-" he hesitated, took a deep breath before he continued, "I think it's time I stopped boiling tea."

"Ahh, my nephew." Iroh put the tea cup down before he stood up and motioned for Zuko to follow him. They passed the shrine's kitchen towards the inner sanctum of Iroh's shrine, where his own eternal flame was burning brightly. Near it, was a small tree, with contorted branches and growing in a heavily zigzagging pattern. It had several curved thorns, and when it flowered it was adorned with white flowers kissed with pink stamens. "You know this plant?"

"The Flying Dragon," Zuko named it touching one of the fruits, most of which were still green while one was already ripening early, already orange with a downy covering.

Iroh picked the ripe fruit and handed it to Zuko. "It's time for you to stop boiling tea, my nephew."

And with a dismissive wave from Iroh, Zuko found himself in front of his own inner sanctum, in front of his sacred fire. Both Meifeng and Jiang appeared in front of him, in human form flanking the sacred flame. Zuko offered the orange to the sacred flame, watching the fruit sacrifice feed the fire slowly.

"I don't understand," Zuko murmured as he watched the bitter orange with the intensity that was his by nature.

"Maybe, my lord," Meifeng whispered, still kneeling and witness to the event. "Maybe Lord Iroh wanted you to realize that here, in the land of man, no one makes your choices for you."

"For the first time, in the longest while, you are free," Jiang agreed.

"And it took a little over eighty years of boiling tea to do that?" Zuko quipped flexing his boundaries, testing the strength that the offering had given him. There was something new forming. The offering was a strand of fire that would start the bridge towards his spirit. It also gave him a shallow well. Shallower than before he fell, but it was a start.

"It took you eighty years of serving the Fire Lord, the God of War, the Dragon of the West, the God of Tea," Jiang repeated, "But it also took work with your own two hands with minimal power."

Zuko wondered if his mother had imparted with her gifts her wisdom. "I didn't achieve anything when he granted me his boon."

"On the contrary, my lord," Meifeng whispered as she slowly stood up, her brother mirroring her actions. "You realized what he wanted you to see. You have proven, that even banished -"

"You are not worthless," they both finished.

Zuko closed his eyes he wondered if his uncle really thought he had changed that much. Shaking his head, he nicked a vein on both wrists motioning for the two of them to come forward. It was time to replenish the swords' spirits as well.

oOo

With the strand of fire bridging him back to his spirit, he learned he could pull more and at least store some of his power. The well that was accessible to him was shallower than he was used to, but at least he wasn't as powerless as before. He hadn't broken down to basic blessings. He could control his fire as well as he could before he was banished and that was good enough for him sometimes. He had missed the fire and its burn.

He still couldn't take the form of the dragon and he still couldn't make a bridge that crosses from his shrine to the higher spirit realms, but he wasn't useless and he had regained some of his godhead. He hadn't expanded the rooms in the shrine, just to save energy because he didn't have a retinue to keep anyway.

And at least, he could answer some prayers now. Not impossible feats of miracles, and truly even those are rarely granted by the major gods, but at least a little girl asking to find her cat, a homeless man asking for warmth. It was easier to grant requests that were within his realm, heat and perseverance, but he had known that. It was within his first sphere. Things were going well.

There was hope.

Mai came to the shrine regularly. It didn't matter if it rained or not. She was there, present with her prayers. She was the marker for his time now that he didn't need to visit his uncle. When she came, it meant that a week had passed of him relearning his fire. That he should visit his uncle for the next day to show his respect.

They hadn't talked since she'd given him lunch.

He realized that he'd missed it, there was no other contact in his shrine besides his Dao swords, and they couldn't express themselves well if he wasn't fighting. Not unless they took human form, and that was going to put a strain on his spirit if even if he could access some power from his well. So he learned to live without conversation.

From their suggestion, he brought them out once a week and trained with them with forms. He didn't use fire bending, but the sword forms flowed from one to the next. And when he used them, they gave him impressions of their thoughts. That they were fine. That they thought the shrine was doing well, regardless of the lack of devotees and spirit retainers. That the girl who was throwing knives against the bark was pretty and she was talented.

He stopped abruptly when he realized he'd lifted a sword on Mai's day of worship. Previously, limited himself to shrine work when she was present, never training, but he had lost track of time. She'd dropped the knives and had been watching him wield the twins.

"I'm still angry at you, you know," Mai said then waved her hands indicating him and his sword form, "You're not going to impress me with showing me how good you are with the sword."

Zuko grinned as he sheathed the twin blades. Had that been posturing? The twins were silent in their sheaths. "You're allowed to be angry at me."

She frowned, as if insulted that he'd _allowed_ her anything. "You are an idiot."

He ignored the insult. Sometimes, his uncle said, humans do not mean what they say. And he had found out early on that Mai might say something, but she always meant another. "Thank you for coming."

"I don't really come for you, jerk," another insult slid past her lips as she watched him approach. He wondered where she picked up the insults, she was a lady and she was probably sheltered. But she was combative with him, and he let it pass, because she actually seemed to enjoy insulting him.

This was the time to tell her the truth. They were friends, of sorts, weren't they? He felt like he should tell her that she was actually praying to _him_. But suddenly, his mortal heart felt heavy, because he realized she might stop coming. She was the only one that talks to him besides his uncle, she was one of his strongest devotees and ... the moment for truth passed.

"Stop being a dork and tell me what your spirit form is," she ordered, because that had always been the coin between the two of them. One story for another. One question for a debt. She wanted the story of his spirit form for his forgiveness.

He'd looked away then, genuine pain flickering through his eyes. When he looked back at her, there was a look of worry on her face. She was wondering, if for the first time, she'd overstepped her bounds. "It's been locked away. I can't access it anymore. I'm cursed. I've forgotten my form because it hurts to remember."

She looked uneasy for a while. "All right. You could fight me with the Dao against my knives," she offered the alternative to him with a small hesitant smile.

"I'm leaving for Ba Sing Se next week." It was a complete shift from their conversation, so she frowned. He hadn't wanted her to worry if he couldn't come back to the shrine when he traveled. He wasn't sure if the trip to Ba Sing Se was worth the expenditure of his power. "I need to talk to the Goddess of Justice."

"She'll see you?" There was surprise in her face, and then quickly hidden dismay.

"Hopefully," he mumbled. He hoped she remembered that they'd been almost like brother and sister once at the Academy. There had been apprenticeships before the Academy but gods easily forgot their own apprentices in caprice. Zuko hoped even though he was banished, Toph would remember him.

"You're leaving this shrine forever, then? Seeking new employment?" she was suddenly moving her hand opening and closing. The movement was still slow, still measured, because Mai only moved with speed when she was wielding her knives and fighting, but there was a frantic element in her eyes.

He frowned, he hadn't even thought she'd see it that way. "No, no. I just need to ask a favor for the God of Perseverance from the goddess."

The nervous tick stopped, as she looked at him incredulously, like she hadn't understood what he was. "You're a messenger now?"

"I'm the only one in this shrine now," he reminded her. He hadn't actually answered her question, sometimes the gods were forbidden to lie to their devotees. It was difficult to move around that. And he doubted that he would be given the Earth's token if he sent a messenger. He would have to pass a test, maybe stay in Ba Sing Se for long periods of time. He wondered if she'd be kind enough to expend some power on him to send him to his shrine every week like his uncle had.

"Okay... Come home safely,"

"Of course."

"See you... ahh, see you soon?"

"Soon."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

I wrote this three years ago, in the hopes that it would be epic and that people would follow it. Alas I came into fanfiction of the Avatar world too late, and there's too little following for it anymore. (Plus the fact that despite Maiko being canon, not a lot of people actually follow Maiko)

As such, it has stayed dormant in my hard drive for a long long long time. That being the case, I decided to release it to the world because a) I wanted con crit because English is not my first language b) I wanted to know if people are still actually interested in it and c) I was wondering if anyone wanted to collaborate with me for it?

I need drive to finish fics, and keeping it in my hard drive will not equal drive. So thank you for reading. Kudos are welcome, but comments and e-mail will drive the fic forward.


	2. Book 2: Earth

Zuko had never been to the side of the world that was owned by the Earth gods. He took in the entire nation of Ba Sing Se with a little trepidation.

If the Fire Nation was filled with sprawling tropical land and machines that inspired awe, Ba Sing Se had built fortifications. With buildings in every corner and an entire wall shielding its splendor from view, it was a world of solid rock foundations and grand cities emerging out of the mountains.

It was also colder than the Fire Nation but he didn't wear sturdier clothes. To do so would have marked him as an outsider, from a hotter nation than this.

Toph's shrine was easy to find, if a bit difficult to access. Zuko had climbed hours before reaching the shrine entrance carved out of the mountain it was housed on. He was filthy and tired when he reached the two boulders that marked the entrance to the shrine set aside for the Goddess of Justice.

Just as he was about to step into the darkness the shrine's guardian moved from its deceptively benign countenance as carved rock. Zuko unsheathed his Dao sword, readying it for battle, but holding it in a non-threatening pose while he assessed what he would do if the creature chose to fight. Toph's handmaidens were badgermoles but her chief guardian was a creature that was both a unicorn and a dragon. Its single horn spiraled out of its forehead in pure white, while its body had scales that glittered of the deep olive green that were the Earth Nation's colors. Where one would expect claws for feet, it had clefts like a goat.

"Remember that I eat fire, flame god," the guardian said in warning as Zuko approached cautiously. The guardian was a truth seeker and did not care for status, it only cared about justice. The guardian would readily eat Zuko if he was found unworthy.

"Does Toph greet all of her visitors with you?" Zuko asked in mild irritation. He was tired and hungry and his mouth sometimes ran away from him.

"You should offer Shenyang more respect, hot-stuff," Toph's drawl said as she materialized on the creature's back, her hands on his scales, her feet stretching to reach the ground. Toph hated to be parted from the land as its vibrations were how she was able to navigate, despite her blindness. "He does gouge out evil doers."

"I haven't done anything wrong yet," Zuko muttered under his breath.

Toph laughed. She had the acute hearing of the gods, enhanced even more due to her lack of sight. "I'm pretty sure you have one or two misdeeds under that sleeve of yours. Worn the blue spirit mask lately?"

Zuko scowled. Sometimes remembering things that had happened under apprenticeship was hard, if only because it reminded him what he had lost. He had worn the blue spirit mask in childhood to get into mischief, all of which he had gotten away with. Later, during their studies, he had worn the mask when he wanted to do something that would most definitely get him into trouble, like breaking into secured buildings and kidnapping the Air Godling. Toph, being the most insightful of all he knew, had figured it out eventually.

"Mistress, this is a dark heart before you," Shenyang pronounced, keeping his serpentine eyes trained on Zuko. "Let me deal with him."

Toph jumped down from the unicorn's back and landed on the floor with flourish, patting the dragon flank in reassurance. She had gained Shenyang when she had ascended as a Goddess of Justice and the unicorn had not left her side since. "He's the redeemable kind of heart, Shenyang. We're old friends."

Shenyang let out a deep growl, more apt to cat-like creatures than unicorn-dragon-goat hybrids, but it served enough as a warning. Even with Toph's presence and reassurance, the growl held enough of a note of resonance for Zuko to know that the dragon would watch him while he stayed in the shrine. "I can still bite out your heart, little godling, remember that when dealing with my mistress," he said before he faded out of sight.

Zuko saluted at the warning, watching the dragon disappear. When the dragon was fully gone, his serious countenance broke into a grin and he stepped forward to clasp Toph's hands. She punched him in the arm and glared at him. "It took you almost a hundred years before you came to visit me?"

"Making tea took up my time," Zuko answered as he rubbed the spot Toph had hit. She had always shown her affection in soft hits and growls. He had missed her, although he hadn't realized it until that moment. Toph had been the little sister he wished Azula had been, or maybe the little brother that he had never had.

"How is uncle?" she asked as she led him towards the shrine, walking with the sure footsteps that always made other gods wonder why Toph had been made blind in the first place.

"I don't think he realized the fact that you were the small waif he had tea with a long time ago."

"And you didn't enlighten him? Jack-ass." Toph handed out the insult easily. Zuko shrugged. There were so very few things he knew that his uncle didn't. He wanted to relish it a bit more before he revealed that his friend Toph, was also one of his uncle's wayward strays. "So why the visit?"

Zuko shuffled uncomfortably in front of her. He wasn't used to asking for help. It wasn't in a god's nature to ask for help. "I need your sigil for my godhood," he mumbled softly.

"What was that again?" Toph asked in clarification.

"I need your token to feed to my flame," Zuko said a little louder, punctuating it with a small growl.

Toph grinned with mischief, which did not help Zuko's cause, and made him want to shake his head in despair. Toph was not going to make it easy for him; it was not in her temper to make things easy. "What did the last goddess of Earth ask of you?"

"To break a thousand boulders and make them into a shaping stone," Zuko said, pointing to one of the stones that littered the entrance of the cave. It marked the Earth gods' territory and it was created to be seen across all of Ba Sing Se.

Toph snorted at the task. "Ahh, finally the reason why my side of the mountain is cluttered is made known. You're lucky, yours is a new shrine instead of inherited. I got all of the old quirks of the last goddess." She motioned for him to follow her inside the temple. The temple was dark lit by crystals on the cave walls. Badgermoles stopped when they approached, raising their head towards their mistress when she walked by. "My predecessor was the Goddess of Constancy, I am Justice, Sparky."

He was aware of that. She shifted her feet, enough to get a solid feel of the ground under her. It was her way of getting a better reading from him. She maneuvered around the mountain without her sight easily. It was dim, but the crystals cast their glow enough for him to see.

"What would a Justice God ask of me?"

"Sit with me during the trials that are asked of me, Zuko," Toph said as she tapped her chin, opening large doors and showing him a small room, similar to the one he had stayed in when he was with Iroh, except the floor was made of solid rocks and the lights were provided by ambient crystals glittering in the dark. A mat was provided for his sleeping needs. "I think I know what to do but you need experience in my court."

"Will you take eighty years off of my life, Toph?" Zuko asked when she turned around to leave him to settle in. His uncle had taken that much when he had set the task and Zuko didn't even understand what the purpose of boiling tea had been.

She inclined her head in the approximate area of his voice, smiling softly. "Uncle probably took eighty years to teach you how to be human. I only need this month to teach you Justice. It's not so hard a concept once you've truly learned how to be human."

"Despite appearances, Toph, I'm not really human. Despite this limited power, I'm not going to remain one," Zuko reminded her. He didn't want to be human. It was something that baffled him. His uncle had mentioned it once and now Toph was mentioning it again.

"Ahh, but that is what most gods don't understand, isn't it?" Toph said softly, her unseeing eyes seeking his. "We made humans because there was something we lack and we are lucky if we find what we seek in that particular human that completes us."

"You're talking in riddles, Toph," Zuko said in the frustrated tones of someone who does not understand. He had always been impatient and he didn't care for the way he was being taught this particular lesson.

"Maybe Lord Ozai did you a favor when he threw you down to this realm, Zuko," Toph suggested, and then changed the subject before he could protest more. "My court begins everyday just before the sun rises at the hour of the rabbit and ends at the second hour of the horse, just before we take lunch. Then for the rest of the afternoon, we see to the shrine's upkeep."

It sounded similar to Uncle Iroh's schedule. Zuko nodded, if he just needed to sit in and listen to Toph make pronouncements in court for a week before she gave him his task it didn't sound as tedious as boiling tea for a tea god.

"Don't nod, I can't see you," Toph reprimanded, and then closed the doors. Her voice returned though she was long gone, echoing against the hard stone walls, reminding him that Toph could use her powers when she wanted to. "Rest, flame god. Tomorrow, you learn how it is to be with an earth god."

oOo

Although Zuko was an entire country away from his shrine, the gaining of his uncle's token had at least allowed him to listen to some of the prayers that were offered there. It was true that they came few and far between, but at least now he wasn't completely impotent.

He heard Mai's prayers the strongest, probably because she was the most consistent in her prayers. The first time she included Zuko in her prayers to the god of perseverance, it was for safe travel.

The next time she prayed for him, it was for his safe return.

She often prayed for faith though she didn't say for whom. He thought it was for him. It would have been funny if the prayer wasn't so fervent, a god not believing in himself. Zuko didn't know how he was going to broach the subject with Mai as she was rather insistent in her beliefs.

Toph found him brooding in one of the Earth God's meditation chambers, the walls completely covered in green crystal, the ground bare rock. It felt like home to Zuko because of the light, all the other places in the cave were carved marble. There were no fires, the current earth god didn't need it, although the crystal's light was enough for those that sought the goddess' blessing and wisdom.

"Time for court, Zuko," Toph reminded him as she motioned towards the door.

He stood up slowly, going to her and placing a hand on her arm. "What do you do when you can't grant their wishes, Toph?" Although Toph was certainly younger than him and a little bit unpolished in grace, there was no denying that she was wise beyond her years. A little immature, but wise.

She paused for a moment, gauging what to reply before she asked in return, "What did you do when you couldn't, before you were sent down?"

There were just some prayers that shouldn't be answered and some that were beyond his abilities, even when he had been a god with his full godhead. There was a natural order to the human world and there were rules that were unbreakable there . "I guess I never thought about it before."

"It's much more difficult to turn them away when we've known them in their world, isn't it?" Toph asked as they walked towards her receiving chamber. She smiled at him. "I give them my blessings and sometimes, a whisper, if they listen. Sometimes that's all they're asking for, a little acknowledgement that someone hears their prayers."

oOo

While his uncle's court was laid back, Toph's was made up of little intricacies that were as full of headaches as the human courts. The mountain was made for pilgrimage; the lower levels received the prayers in the form of rocks handled lovingly and with much care to seek out the Goddess of Justice's favor. Worshipers chiseled the mountain face to find rocks that they would send as their tokens infused with their petitions, then dipped the rocks in flame hoping that theirs were sought out and deemed worthy, before cooling it with the sacred waters and air drying over the prayer racks that were left to collect the polished stones. Badgermoles sorted them out. Zuko still didn't know how since the badgermoles were largely blind and couldn't read the prayers anyway.

The prayers found worthy would then get sent to the higher levels, those that were unworthy were gouged from the mountain to make room for more prayers. Up above the chosen prayerswere sent to the scales where Toph would feel each prayer and decide which of them would benefit from a blessing or a nudge in the right direction. There were difficult prayers that Toph frowned over and brought towards the scales. If the scales tipped one way or the other, she would send her favor or her displeasure. There were also near-impossible prayers wherein the scales were balanced. These prayers she brought to a full court, where she summoned her most trusted advisers before she gathered everyone that was involved in the case and listened.

Today was one such case, presented by a child, old enough to go through pilgrimage to Toph's shrine alone, young enough that he still had the chubby cheeks of youth. Toph was sitting amidst a panel of other spirits, made up of badgermoles and others that were dear to the earth.

"I would plead that I was unjustly made unlucky by the gods at birth," the boy stated, eyes firm, resolute while speaking his claim.

Toph gave a single lift of her chin, waiting for the elaboration. She had seated Zuko beside her, his colors vastly different from the earth-bender green that the Earth Kingdom was used to, but the child merely looked over him.

"Just this week, I came through a great deal of misfortune," the child claimed. "My mother gave me a copper coin. I tried to get it doubled in keno and chose your number, but I lost the money because I was unlucky!"

Zuko frowned, he was perseverance and because of that he didn't really approve of gambling, but this was Toph's shrine, and it was under her rules. Losing one game of keno didn't seem bad enough for the child to protest to Toph.

"Because I lost that game I wasn't able to get home on time because I couldn't pay for transport. I lost my chance to eat at the dinner table, my siblings taking most of the good sized portion of the meal. So I had to settle with eating an apple that I had to dip in sugar so I could have something in my stomach. Because of that the next morning I woke up with ants biting me everywhere! I'm allergic to them!"

Now that the kid mentioned it, Zuko noticed that the kid was really splotchy all over.

"Is that all your plea?" one maiden asked from the side and the boy nodded. The badgermoles picked up a stone from in front of them, putting it into a basket that a maiden brought near each one. Once she reached Zuko he stared at her blankly. She coughed politely and pointed to two polished rocks in front of him. One alabaster white, the other ebony black.

"White to rule in the child's favor, black against him, my lord," she whispered politely.

Right, well, the kid certainly _had_ been unlucky, Zuko couldn't disagree with that. But really, wasn't that all largely… self-induced? He could have saved up the coin and bought something to sell in the market, or even bought his own transport and bought his food instead of gambling on the off chance he'd double his money.

Coming to the supper table late was generally unacceptable, it might mean that you've already eaten. But he did get bitten enough by ants.

Zuko hung his head in thought. Well, this was just to judge if he'd been made unlucky and it seemed that the kid _was _unlucky. He tossed his white stone in. The maiden finally moved to Toph who was staring unseeingly at the proceedings.

"Your mother didn't need to give you her money but she did because she loved you and you asked," Toph pointed out slowly. She pointed her finger at him, "But you wasted the opportunity for that when you gambled. You were given food but you took it to bed when you ate it, that's why you had ants in your bed the next day, and you would have gotten proper food if you didn't waste your last coin."

Zuko watched as Toph tossed the black stone over the basket and, once her vote was in, the basket and the maiden that had been collecting the votes turned into an elaborate scale, weighing the votes. Most of the pebbles were black.

The child grimaced. "See, I'm unlucky here, too."

Toph sighed. "Look, kid, it's not the gods that hold your luck but yourselves. You choose how to become the person you're going to be." With that the kid was dismissed, escorted out by two other badgermoles. Once the child was fully out of the room, Toph jumped out of the chair and looked at Zuko contemplatively. "Come on, Sparky. I think you've been gone from your flame long enough. A quick vacation to your shrine should do you wonders."

oOo

"Flame it!" Mai's curse rang loud against the silent grounds of the shrine, but it wasn't her curse that made Zuko's head snap up in alert. With her curse, the grounds had also been infused with life blood; life blood that hadn't been freely given.

Zuko dropped the rake he was using and reached for his swords. They answered the call and were in his hands, unsheathed in an instant. He ran towards the feel of Mai's blood in his grounds, heart pounding unsteadily against his chest.

If he still had his full powers he could have been there in the moment that it took for him to notice her distress. He would have known where she was and would have appeared. As it was, he was forced to use his very human legs. He skidded to a stop when he found Mai kneeling over one of the trees in the shrine, holding her hand, blood freely flowing down her arm.

Zuko looked around the shrine, but he didn't sense any danger. He lunged at the fence, clinging to it to see over the walls, but saw the quiet forest and a rabbit scurrying away. His guard still up and his eyes outside the shrine walls he asked, "You all right, Mai?"

If he were looking he would have seen Mai's eyes round at his unsheathed swords before she closed them to gain her composure and said, "I accidentally sliced my arm. It's safe. We're alone."

"Oh," Zuko said in realization. He looked at his swords, then at her holding out her arm. The wound was barely visible through the heavy cloth, but the stain of the blood had seeped through. Her fingers had rivulets of the viscus flowing, dropping towards the earth. Each drop resonated fully with his core telling him of the offering. "Oh...oh."

"My hero, mind a little help here?" Mai teased him for his mistake. Her shock at having seen him battle-ready was over. She had her right hand pressed fully over the wound to staunch the flow of blood while she leaned carefully against one of the smaller trees. "I think I may need stitches."

"What happened?" Zuko asked, letting go of his swords, dismissing them towards the shrine's Eternal Flame. When he was in the shrine, he didn't carry them around as much, so that the drain on their power wouldn't be as fast.

"I was stupid," Mai answered as she followed Zuko's lead towards a porch in the main shrine halls, near the purification well where he could fetch water.

He took one of the daggers that were littered about and cut the long sleeve from her arm to expose the long gash. He examined the wound with a little push and prod, then ladled water and poured it over her arm to clean the wound. Mai hissed at the cold, the water stinging her a little bit.

"It's going to scar," Zuko said in distress as he tried to bring the lines of the arm together. The gash was long, it wasn't deep enough to hurt muscle, but close enough that he knew it was going to leave its mark.

Mai winced when Zuko pressed her discarded sleeve against the gash to stop the blood flow. He removed the arm holster that housed her knives as well as the wrist strap that hid more weapons.

"My mother is not going to believe that I wasn't accosted between here and the house." Mai and her mother didn't see eye to eye. Zuko thought it might have been Mai's own lack of desire to communicate but he held his tongue, it was certainly none of his business. "I wonder how I'll explain this."

Zuko looked up from her wound; he didn't understand why it would be a hardship. She was practicing with her knives and was hurt in the process. There was nothing shameful in that. "Just tell her the truth."

"She's going to like a lie better than her daughter running around practicing with knives," Mai insisted. Zuko didn't understand the dynamics between Mai and her mother so he left it alone. He had not met Mai's mother in any capacity and she never visited his shrine. It was not his place to judge her. Zuko pulled off the cloth to examine the wound only to reapply it as it was still bleeding. "I wish it would heal before my mother notices it."

Zuko tensed the moment she said the words. A wish said in his presence when blood was spilled on his grounds was enough to invoke his power. "You ask for little things, Mai." It was a small wish, something that he could truly grant, especially now that he had regained some of his power well. This would only take a fraction of a blessing. "What would you give to have that granted?"

Sometimes she forgot too easily that there was more to him than an errand boy in this shrine. Zuko was happy that he was able to experience with her what it was to be in the lower realms but at times like these, it would have helped if she knew that there were rules between spirits and humans. Mai let out a small smile. "And you would grant it?"

It had been so long since he was able to grant anyone's wishes he didn't even remember the feeling of it anymore. "Sometimes it's dangerous to enter into contracts with spirits, Mai." Zuko warned her. Mai gave her trust too easily.

"I don't know, you don't seem dangerous to me." Mai reached for him with her uninjured hand. She rested her hand against his shoulder. "What would you take in exchange?"

"It doesn't work that way," Zuko reminded her, pulling away. He wanted her to know the gravity of the situation. Some people bartered their souls in agreements that gave them wealth; he wanted her to realize that there were some things that should not be given away. Mai dropped her hand. "You offer something and I decide if it meets the price. That's always been our way."

"One of my knives, maybe?" Mai muttered as she removed the stiletto from her holster, tracing the knife that injured her. Some blood was still on it. She hesitated, and then chose an unblemished one before presenting it to him. "It was what got me into this mess in the first place."

"Change it to the one stained by your blood, Mai," Zuko suggested. A knife was useless to him and he couldn't grant the request if she offered something useless. Her blood was another matter entirely. She frowned but handed him the other knife before he accepted it. It flared briefly in flames, then vanished, the contract made. Zuko leaned forward, taking away the cloth and rubbing his cheek against the wound, then brushed his lips over it in a soft kiss.

"Hey, wait, I —" Mai protested at the closeness, but the instant he touched the sliced flesh, it burned hot, and there was another reason to protest, "That _hurts_!" she instinctively pulled away but Zuko's hand was firm.

He was a god of fire and his flame would cause pain more than it would soothe. It burned away imperfection but he was not a healer among flame gods and any cure he attempted would always hurt. There was always a price for this type of healing, especially since it wasn't within his realm of expertise. Thankfully, it was a small wound and he released her arm after mere seconds. He frowned as he looked at the arm. His flame had burned thoroughly but it had left a remnant of his power on her. "You've been branded by this shrine."

Mai looked at her arm where a small red patch stylized into a flame had replaced the long gash. If she had gone to get stitches it would have taken at least twelve to close the wound, instead the flame was as small as her thumb and barely noticeable in comparison. "Did you do that?"

"Not on purpose," Zuko said by way of apology. He was still a god and he still had some bit of pride left. "I don't think any of the healing that I could work would have left you without it. You are dear to this shrine."

Mai sighed in resignation. "The shrine, huh? It's sentient now?"

"All god's shrines are," Zuko told her as he stood up, offering his hand to help her up. "Do you want me to accompany you home?"

Mai rolled her eyes at him. "Not an invalid, thank you. Besides, I would have had trouble explaining a wound to my mother. A torn sleeve, a tattoo, and a guy would just be asking for trouble."

"Safe journey then, Mai," Zuko whispered as she tried to right her sleeves, enough to make it seem even. He fastened her holster slowly and wound it around the small stylized flame to cover it. "Until next week."

She briefly touched her arm in awe, and then looked at him strangely. "You're really a spirit."

Zuko frowned at her and wondered what it meant. He hadn't covered the fact that he was a spirit from her and she had told him point blank when they met that he was not human. "Yes. Did you doubt?"

She gave him a small smile. "For a little while."

oOo

He'd been complacent, working in Toph's shrine, learning the ways that she implemented justice. She gave him time to pore over scroll after scroll of stories. He had been left alone by most gods and he didn't think that someone would take an interest in him after almost a hundred years gone from their world.

He was wrong about that and only realized it when he got home one day and found his sister, Azula, waiting for him on the shrine steps. She was in her basic form, a flame goddess, flickering on his steps in the blue flame that she was known for.

"What are you doing here?" Zuko asked in irritation, flinging the Spirit Doors open and resting his sword by the hearth. There was a small fountain for purification inside the shrine itself and he ladled a small amount of water to clean his face.

"How very hospitable of you," Azula dryly commented as he continued with his ablutions. She circled around the small shrine. Unlike when he held full power, there was no wall of flame, the hall where he granted audience was not filled with imposing black embellished with gold. The center of his hearth contained a large flame that burned while he had his power. All flame deities did. "How are you living in this squalor?"

"I get by," Zuko said tonelessly. He pulled out the clothes that he used when he worked on the shrine from the closet while Azula watched him critically. Once he could have woven the thread in an instant, clothing himself with strands of power. Now, it was a waste of strength. "So, why are you here again?"

"Looking after you, brother," she said in a mocking tone. Zuko hated that tone on her. She was quite possibly the only person he knew that could say any word and send shivers of fear down any man's spine.

Before he could reply, his flame flickered once and burned into a hotter blue instead of the steady orange. Azula looked from him towards the flame, her eyes dancing. The blue meant someone had lit an incense stick on his altar and Azula knew that, being a flame god herself. "What do we have here?"

"Another supplicant. Don't you have droves of them?" Zuko answered slowly. Usually during his day of rest only one person came to his shrine to pray so it was unlikely that someone other than Mai lit that stick in prayer, and he desperately wanted Azula's eyes away from Mai. "Men asking to win wars?"

"They needed me after they realized Uncle Iroh doesn't want to grant their prayers anymore," she said absentmindedly. Her flame flickered in a slow arc, sweeping Zuko along in the process of shifting them from his inner sanctum towards his garden. Azula had chosen a good spot, they were far enough not to disturb Mai's prayer but close enough to scrutinize Mai. "She glows with your grace. And here I thought you had so very little to spare. You live with no spirits, you live with no servants, you pulled the power that fueled your world into a little _hovel_ all because you must conserve your power, but you grant this girl your blessing."

Azula's fire started forming a circle, the start of any fire god expelling a flame. He started running before he knew what he was running towards, reaching Mai, whom he covered with his arms, just as the heat of Azula's blast came close to incinerating her. Mai gave a startled gasp as he absorbed the blast, its flame fueling his own.

"Interesting," Azula murmured, slowly manifesting her female form. Dressed like a soldier, Azula still looked imposing in her garb. With her crown in place the Fire Nation colors of red, black, and gold helped to keep her looking untouchable.

Mai looked surprised to see someone other than Zuko in the shrine but Zuko ignored her for the moment. Azula was a much larger problem. She gave Mai what Zuko supposed was a reassuring smile on her face. Unfortunately, he didn't believe much in Azula's reassurances. Azula ignored him and stopped directly in front of Mai, even as Zuko attempted to hide her behind his back. "Just how faithful are you to the god in this shrine?" Azula asked in mild curiosity.

"Very," Mai answered just as Zuko said, "Not at all."

Azula's wild smile did not fail to bother Zuko. "Interesting." Another statement that bothered Zuko. Azula did wonderful things to interesting people.

He didn't want her to find anything interesting. He could feel that Mai was angry at all the dirt and flame kicking around her person. She was especially angry that he'd stepped in front of her. Mai was a strong woman and she hid behind no one's back. "A supplicant in the shrine is under the god's protection," Zuko said in a steady voice that he was not feeling. If Azula was reminded of the rules she might overlook 'interesting'.

"Really, Zuzu?" came the faint mocking tones that he had not missed. She transferred her gaze from Mai to him. It was disconcerting, but at least she wasn't looking at Mai anymore. "Very well, I'll leave her alone."

Then, with a bright flicker of blue, she burned and left. Mai and Zuko stood still in front of the altar before she finally shoved him away from her. "What was that all about?" He could hear the pauses in between the words.

Zuko half stumbled as he turned towards her, trying to look at her for the first time. Some of her hair had been singed but her clothes were largely unharmed, except for the hem of her dress, from which a small flame was still licking. He snuffed it out without a thought and called it to himself. He wondered what to tell Mai, then said, "If anyone in your family prays to the Goddess of Destruction, tell them to stop. Right now. It's going to draw her eyes on you."

"Was she a handmaiden of the goddess?" Mai asked in a peeved tone, examining herself. "Why is it that, for some reason, I've been unlucky here lately?"

He didn't know. It shouldn't be happening. She was in his grounds where power had returned to him. She should have been safe from harm. But then, Azula had always been more powerful than he was. He ignored her second question and focused on the first. "Of sorts. I told you to pray to the God of Tea."

"He's a _tea god,_ who would pray to that?" Mai said in disgust as she tried to find a shiny surface in one of the incense stands to see herself. She grimaced in dismay when she noticed the state of her hair. "My mother is going to ban me from coming here if she sees me looking like this."

"People pray to the kitchen god, so it doesn't sound absurd!" he said, tapping his foot on the front steps in mild irritation. She was trying to arrange her hair helplessly when Zuko frowned and pulled her hands away. "You're making it worse. Come on, I'll fix it."

She whirled around, possibly more shocked than anything else. "You'll fix my hair?"

He frowned, he may not be well versed in many of humanity's ways, but fixing hair was surely something that he could do. He'd been fixing his own since he was sent to the lower realms. "What's wrong?"

"Do you even know how to fix hair?" She raised her hand unconsciously to the two buns that sported pigtails. From what he'd observed from the locals, it was the hairstyle that adorned the younger teens. Married women had more sedate braids keeping all their hair up in their heads.

"It's hair. How bad could it be?" Zuko asked, impatient. His younger sister made a big show of fixing her hair, letting it down in the water while two attendants combed it into submission but he put up his hair easily in a dragon tail. How difficult would it be to braid Mai's and put it into the buns?

"Can't you magic it all away?" He almost laughed at her idea. He'd never thought of the way gods manipulated the energies around the lower kingdoms as magic, but some humans referred to it as such. It wasn't as simple.

"Uh-uh, I don't know how you end up thinking that I can 'magic things away' but if you've noticed, the shrine I live in is decrepit, the God of Perseverance has been banished from the higher realms, my bridge to my core is all but gone, and my spirit well is rather shallow. I can barely start my firebending. I'm almost broken down to basic blessing as it is."

She frowned and yawned in mock boredom. "I only asked if you could magic it all away, not for your life story." If there was one thing he could count on with Mai, it was her ability to put things in perspective. She didn't tolerate any sort of whining.

He rolled his eyes at her response, typical of Mai to express disdain. Still, he couldn't let her get away with the shot. "Oh, charming, charming, Mai. No wonder you haven't married yet."

"Oh, oh, so we're down to insults now?" She raised an eyebrow. At sixteen she was one year over marriageable age, he had wondered, but he'd kept the questions to himself. It wasn't his business.

"You started it," he said in mock anger. Had she been someone else he might have been truly offended but this was Mai. If she wasn't just a little bit as socially awkward as he was, he probably would have shied away. Mai's awkwardness was different, no less debilitating than his, but different. It was as if she'd never talked to other people before. "If your mother sees you like that she's never going to let you back here. You said so yourself. Let me fix your hair."

"Fine," she said, exasperated. Battle won.

"Fine," he repeated. He led her to one of the stone benches and helped her to sit. He busied himself with untying the knots of hair that had been singed from Azula's fire or had curled away from the two buns that had previously kept her hair intact.

She reached inside one of her sleeve pockets and handed him her comb, ivory and well made, fit for a wealthy lady. He ran the white comb through her hair, straightening her tangles, making sure that his hand was light.

"Hey, Zuko?" Mai said in a low voice, breaking the easy silence. He didn't look up from his work and muttered a small grunt to acknowledge her, intent on working on the small knots that were still on her hair. "Thanks for saving me from the handmaiden of destruction."

He grunted in response.

oOo

Although most that they received from the shrines were from the Earth Nation, there were times that there were people that came in for pilgrimage from other countries. Zuko watched Toph as she weighed the prayer in her hands, it was rough, rougher than most of the other stones that were chiseled from the mountain's rocks. Toph weighed it on her hands, the same as when she contemplated a prayer that she wanted to bring to court, and then she looked at Zuko sideways. As much as a blind goddess can look at someone sideways.

She brought the stone out to show it to Zuko, and he noted that it was flame damaged, stained with fire, causing a deep red to appear over the stone that must have contained more than enough iron from the mountains. "A Fire Nation's prayer."

It explained the roughness of the handling of the stone, but the beauty in firing the rock. Carve out a rock, suffuse it in prayer and fire it before leaving it in the prayer racks as offering, where water would cool it and the air would dry it overnight.

"How do children offer up prayers?" Zuko asked curious, he couldn't imagine children just hawing away at the side of the mountain.

Toph shook her head." They take the rocks that are already at the mountainside, dummy, not everyone has to show off with the best stone. It's the intent that counts. Come on."

The man came in, dressed in garb of mourning. "I seek justice from the God of Perseverance. I asked for guidance for my son, I asked for protection while he went to war!"

Zuko's heart sank as he heard the prayer and he gripped the stones in front of him. He hadn't been able to answer any prayers lately. He hadn't been able to protect any of his supplicants since his bending had been taken from him. He couldn't even keep warm in the Earth Nation, and they weren't as cold as the Water Tribes.

He stood up abruptly, leaving the white stone on his desk while taking the black one with him and leaving the chambers. He palmed the black stone from hand to hand and wondered what Toph gave to those whom she ruled white.

It took hours for the hearing to end and once all the spirits had disappeared from the room, Toph was able to walk to him slowly, her footsteps measured and loud against the rock surface. She was letting him know that she was coming.

"You don't have to lecture me," Zuko headed her off.

"You shouldn't have left," Toph chided, her arms crossed.

"What was the point?" Zuko asked, running a frustrated hand through his already disheveled hair. "He was right to be mad at me. I was their god, they trusted me. That soldier, his death is on my hands."

"What, so you're saying every person who comes to pray to you for endless life is your fault?" Toph asked slowly. Zuko shook his head in denial, because they were mortal, they were bound to die. "Yeah, it's not. So this shouldn't bother you."

"It was my responsibility!" Zuko shouted.

"And you couldn't help his son dying!" Toph shouted back. "Maybe if you had your flame, the son's wounds wouldn't have been fatal, but this is not all on you!"

"Then who is it on?"

"The world doesn't revolve around your flame, Zuko. These people they would go on living without the gods meddling in their business," Toph said in a softer note. "What you could have done is helped him move on."

Zuko closed his eyes in anger, because he still felt that it was something he could have prevented. These prayers were the little things that he could have done to help his people. Toph gave a small huff, probably knowing that he wouldn't be receptive to any of the words that she said. There was a soft clink of stone meeting one of the tables found in his room and Toph said, "Mourning is not for the dead, Zuko, it's for the living," before she walked out of the room.

When Zuko opened his eyes, he found out that she'd given him the white judgement rock he'd left behind.

oOo

Although Toph had tried to make him feel better about his judgement, he thought that his stay at her court was a failure. Another failure. Sometimes he didn't understand how he could judge things and fail. Toph always had a bright outlook when judging things, but he was rash in his decisions, always angry at something or other. He couldn't finish some hearings because he was just angry at the world.

He was hollowing out one of the logs near his shrine. Had he possessed his old powers, he would have burned something until only dust remained, until he felt empty. He didn't want to feel angry at his situation anymore, but that's all he felt most days.

After all this time away, he felt like he'd accepted all of the changes, but sometimes, when he was brought low by something, he'd remember the pain. He'd remember that he had once held the power to save the people who depended on him.

They painted their skin with his colors and invoked his name but he couldn't reach any of them now, not since his fall. He hadn't felt this helpless before, but now the loss of a child brought him to his knees.

He stopped when his human arms ached and he couldn't hold the axe anymore. Sweat ran down his clothes. He whirled to find Mai, standing against the sunlight with a strange expression in her face. "Are you all right?" she asked softly.

"Does it look like I'm all right?" Zuko asked with a little heat. She flinched and he sobered immediately, regretting the sharp words. He didn't know any other humans and maybe gods didn't really need other people, but he liked Mai's company. He shrugged in defeat, dropping the small makeshift axe near his feet, and then leaned against the log that he had been hacking. "I was more powerful than this once. I feel so helpless here."

Mai looked at him with mild exasperation and then touched her sleeve as a reminder. "You healed me once. You're not quite helpless."

"There was a soldier, little more than a boy really. He went into war just last year." He gave a bitter laugh. The Fire Nation was filled with its small wars and large conquests. Sooner or later they'd want to invade more than the small patch of land the gods had granted them. "I wasn't able to save him."

Mai's eyes glittered with anger. He shook his head, she should be angry; he'd failed at so many things. He was going to fail her, too, someday.

"You can't really save everyone. Sometimes it's enough that you saved one person."

He reeled back in surprise. He had thought she was going to condemn him; Mai was unpredictable as humans were unpredictable. Then he felt anger because she didn't understand what it was to fail. At least not in the way that he'd failed his people. She couldn't lecture him on failure when she hadn't set out and failed at some grand quest yet. She was barely out of her parents' house. "Then tell me, who the hell have I saved?"

"Me," she said with more than a little heat.

He laughed at the thought. Mai was capable of so much. She didn't need anyone, least of all a deposed godling. "I haven't saved you, Mai. You did that yourself."

"You take care of me when I'm here. You don't realize it...but you save me a lot. This is the only place I can go to and feel sane." Mai always spoke in a bored tone that might have put other people off, but, in a way, that stability comforted him. "I know you don't believe in much, Zuko, but can't you believe in me for a change? If you've lost your faith in everything, then can't you put it in me?"

He looked at her in astonishment. There was another thing that Mai was artlessly skilled at, stumbling into things she didn't understand. She had found, yet again, the first bindings of a contract. Maybe it was because of all of that faith that she had in abundance. "Do you know what you're asking, Mai?"

"No. But that's what having faith is. Doing something you're not sure of because you believe. I may not care about a lot of things, but I do know I care about you."

oOo

Zuko started awake from his sleep. It was still night in the Earth Kingdom and there wasn't movement. The spirits of the shrine were about their business but they had left him to sleep. He was manifested as human, his body could go on for days without food or rest, but it would burn up too much of his reserves, so he slept.

He didn't understand what woke him. He nudged his sword but it was silent in his hand, its twin resting easy back at home. His shrine was not in danger. He stood up, restless, he couldn't quite understand it. He felt like he was forgetting something, or at least doing something wrong.

He paced around silently in the guest room, looking at the earthen walls carved into the mountain side before seeking out Toph's shrine. He found her in a small, pebbled garden, in the center of her shrine. It was her equivalent of his Eternal Flame. The rocks in the garden were small pebbles, smooth and white, and when Toph stood on them, the rocks would mold themselves into what she wished for them to be.

He watched her silently as she made a small earthquake and built boulders. She built miniature towns and great cities before dismantling them into sand and dust. She stopped after chipping away at a rock face and tilted her head at him in quiet acknowledgement. "Hey, Sparky, what's keeping you awake? I thought you needed the beauty sleep." She frowned at him slightly. "Your well hasn't even filled properly yet. You should get a few hours at least."

Zuko approached the pebble garden slowly, sitting just beyond the edge, not touching it. "There's something wrong with me. I keep hearing a howling wind, but the winds are silent. There's nothing back in the shrine. I should be resting but every time I try to close my eyes…I don't know. I feel an echo of...distress. It's not mine—"

Toph jumped out of her garden then touched her hand to his chest. He frowned at that. Toph had never respected personal space; she had never learned of it. She stood silently and he felt some of the Earth ground him and reach towards his well. His core tried to pull some of the earthbending that Toph was doing, pulling the element that he was lacking.

She released him abruptly. "You are going to drain me if you do that," Toph admonished with a small gasp.

It was Toph's bending Earth through him. He couldn't bend, but until his core was complete, his core was going to seek out the elements that would balance him. He couldn't fully form the bridge to his spirit without it. "Did you find out what it is?"

"You tied a string around someone back in the Fire Nation, the feelings are resonating through it," Toph said wearily before dropping down to the earthen ground, tired at the seeing that she'd done. "You never thought it'd be that?"

"A string?" Zuko asked, bewildered.

Toph raised Zuko's right hand and showed him his smallest finger. Zuko still didn't understand. "Seriously? Somebody tied you to some floozy without your consent?" Toph groaned, and then stood up again before pushing him backwards, without giving him time to reply.

He stumbled and fell, sitting up to find himself in a different place all together. He was starting to get annoyed at the way that the other gods were sending him places without warning. He was not in his shrine, although definitely in the Fire Nation since he could feel the slight shift of his bending. It was hot and humid, which contrasted from the temperate climate of the Earth Nation.

There was a soft rustling movement from a corner and only a bit of the moon filtered in to show him someone slumped over, black hair spilling against the low bed. He took a cautious step closer, but the sound was enough to alert the woman on the bed who hurled something that glinted in the moonlight. Zuko sidestepped and narrowed his eyes, but the surprised voice stopped him, "Zuko?"

Zuko recognized the voice well enough, if not the spill of hair down her back, undone from the traditional buns that she usually wore it in. "Mai?" Zuko asked in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

"This is my house. What are _you _doing here? My mother is going to throw ten kinds of fits if she sees you here. In my room. In the middle of the night." He noticed then that there were tear tracks on her face, although his sudden appearance had stopped them from pouring. She surreptitiously turned away to scrub her face with her palms in the guise of waking up, but she had wiped them away instead.

"Huh, Toph— the Goddess of Justice. She sent me here." Zuko stood there awkwardly, not knowing where to sit or to simply stand. He tried to look around the house instead of focusing on Mai. She was in a lightweight silk dress and had grabbed a pillow to cover herself.

"She sent you here," Mai said slowly, digesting the information as she stood up and took a long robe from her closet while Zuko was examining his hands in fascination. "Why is that?"

Suddenly he understood what he was feeling, even though he wasn't entirely sure why he was feeling it. "You were ... sad." As soon as he said the words, the sadness lifted, as if he'd suddenly alleviated the burden by saying it out loud and acknowledging it.

Mai frowned probably thinking up a response to that and Zuko sat down on a large sofa that was propped up against the wall in Mai's room. The room itself was large and had opulent trimmings. Silk, not a material just some commoner could buy, was lavishly draped everywhere in the favorites of gold, blacks, and reds. He couldn't see much in the dark but he knew that the room was richly appointed, a far cry from his own quarters.

"She sent you here because I was sad?" Mai asked, throwing open the window to let in a cool breeze from the tropical summer to enter her room. A single shaft of moonlight filtered in, bathing Mai in its soft glow. "Don't spirits have better things to do than keep track of me?"

"I don't understand it myself." Zuko shrugged. "Look, we don't have to talk about it. It was probably just a part of my test. I haven't been doing well with her."

She looked at him skeptically but sighed and motioned with her finger in a small circle. He gaped at her, not understanding before she quipped, "Turn around, you flame-head, I'm going to change."

He flushed red but followed her commands, turning his head towards the window, hearing her shuffle around the room, in what he assumed was her changing. Once she was finished, she was garbed in the usual clothes that she wore when she visited. "We can't stay here."

Zuko looked around her room. Yes, staying in an unmarried woman's chambers was probably not the best thing to do if he wanted to keep her dignity, not to mention her marriage prospects intact. "We can go to my shrine?"

She rolled her eyes, and he was surprised that he could see that in the little light that shone through her windows. "We spend most of our time in that shrine. I think a change of scenery is required."

"I dunno, Mai," Zuko said uncertainly. He didn't know a lot of the places in this world. He didn't spend much time in the earthly realms before his fall other than the requisite earning of his godhead. "I can't think of a place to suggest that your mother wouldn't 'throw ten kinds of fits' at."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Maybe, we should do something that doesn't need her say-so."

She ended up demanding for him to bring her to a beach. It was well within the boundaries of his shrine and her home that he had enough power to bring her there. They ended up wading along the shore, picking up shells and just spending the time with each other. Zuko supposed that it was a victory for Mai to do something her mother would never approve of. At the end of the night she was soaked through and had piled close to a camp fire that he had made on the beach.

"Does the Goddess of Justice always send out rogue spirits to break the rules?" Mai asked with a hint of laughter in her voice that had not been there before the night started. She picked up one of the pieces of firewood that he had gathered and threw it on the fire to stoke the flame.

"Toph does weird and wacky things," Zuko said by way of explanation. He noticed her hands trembling as she tried to warm them over the flame. "Are you cold? Come over here. I'm from the flames, I'll warm you up."

There was a stretch of silence after he spoke, broken only by the small crackle of the flame. Mai was looking through the flame at him, a frown on her face. He didn't know if he'd broken some unspoken rule of hers, but a little of the sadness that she had started with crept back into her eyes, and he regretted that.

"I'm going to the matchmaker," Mai said suddenly, kneeling in front of the fire. The dark yellow light cast shadows on her face. She busied her hands by taking the longest stick in the small pile Zuko had accumulated and poked the fire with it. She was looking carefully away when she said the words, "when I get married, I won't be coming to your shrine anymore."

It was his turn to respond with a long silence, and his fist clenched involuntarily. He only realized he must have done so when Mai laid her hand on his. In that moment, as he stared at her hand on top of his, he realized that the news upset him more than when he lost his godhead. "That sounds awfully like goodbye, Mai."

"It is." He looked up into her eyes. "It's something like it. My father will make a good political match for me if he can help it. You know, one of those strapping young men of high rank in the military, or a government man, fresh out of the national exams. It's a difficult place to be in, becoming a wife. I don't have the liberties of a child."

"You're not married yet," he said in a low whisper.

There was another one of those strange pauses that they were sharing tonight before she reassured him with, "no. Not yet."

"Mai," he said bringing his other hand on top of hers that was already clasped in his. "Don't worry about it. Not yet."

"Not yet," she echoed softly.

oOo

Zuko arrived late for court, so he couldn't go in and watch the court for its session. It was one of Toph's rules, once court sessions started, no one could enter and they had to try the following day.

Since he'd traveled by boat and by scaling the mountain after an entire night with Mai, it was slightly understandable that he was late. He still found it unacceptable that he was late for his duty. He couldn't finish the task if he was always late. He waited for court to end patiently in the room that they usually ate lunch in.

Toph finally walked past the doors as he sat on one of the low tables. She smiled when she noticed that he was waiting for her, joining him, and rested her head on the palms of her hands while her elbows rested on the table. She leaned forward in curiosity. "So how was it with your girlfriend in the Fire Nation?"

Zuko frowned at her in puzzlement as the badgermoles appeared and, with a flick of their head, took their human form and began serving the food. The fare that day consisted of steamed fish and rice. "Toph, do you know that I don't understand what you're talking about?"

"Uh-uh, you fly all the way to the Fire Nation—"

"You sent me there!"

"—in one night because even seas apart from Fire Nation land you still feel this person's distress. You're distracted because of this—"

"Well, wouldn't _you_ be distracted by one of your followers' distress?"

"—to the point that you can't sleep. You put her in precedence to even your godhood—"

"I did _not_! You sent me back!"

"—because for all that protesting you spent an entire _night _there instead of coming right back—"

"It may have escaped your notice but I can't blink my eyes and snap my fingers and transfer my essence from the Fire Nation to the Earth Kingdom!"

"—You get a red string around your fingers—"

"I don't even understand how that got there!"

Toph stopped what Zuko assumed had to be a longer rant. She shook her head, leaned back, and if she could see, would have been eyeing him critically. As it was, she radiated disbelief sprinkled with annoyance. "Seriously? You're telling me you do not know what that string means?"

Zuko took the chopsticks that had been served and scowled, wishing that Toph could see both the scowl and the glare that he was sending her way. "Maybe I got it because she prays a lot. She really is one of the most dedicated supplicants in that damned shrine."

Toph laughed and Zuko's frown deepened. "This has _nothing_ to do with her being a supplicant and all because of how she completes you."

"You know, Toph, this is dangerously close to becoming cliché," Zuko warned as he began eating, watching Toph as she laughed again.

"There's no other way to describe it other than that." Toph shrugged. She took her own chopsticks slowly, feeling her way around the tray. Her servants usually kept a rigid regimen with Toph, her food always placed in the same configuration. Although she could see with her feet well enough, her servants tried to see to her every comfort. "She's been chosen for you, Zuko."

"What do you mean she's been chosen for me?" he choked out in mild distress. He put his chopsticks down and looked at Toph in the eye, although it didn't help him gain insight.

"I think maybe you should talk to Yue about this." Toph pointed her chopsticks towards him, it was beyond rude but Toph wasn't as bound by society's etiquette as most were. "You're going to Yue at some point or the other. She's the one responsible for the threads of destiny in this world. She holds the book that lists them all down."

Zuko groaned. He and Yue were not on the best terms, especially since she was a Water god and he was from the Flame. They were designed not to see eye to eye. "I might ask Yue for her token because I need the bridge to my core, Toph, but I don't appreciate being in debt to her twice."

Toph shook her head, humor still lining her face. "She might be snarky about it but she'll tell you. We are bound by duty, and it's her duty to hold those records."

Zuko paused, then resigned himself to his fate and picked up his chopsticks again. "I can't imagine Yue of all people being snarky."

"Oh, with regard to this?" Toph snorted with complete belief. "She will be."

Zuko just hoped that Toph's assessment was off this time. He sighed as he highly doubted it. Toph nudged a small rock towards him, white and polished. "What's this for."

"I think you earned your small piece of earth back to feed your sacred flame," Toph said solemnly.

"I didn't do anything," Zuko said dubiously picking up the smooth white stone. He hadn't proven anything to justice yet.

"You did. You listened. I think that's what you've been missing, Zuko. Justice isn't always about the decisions. It's about listening to both sides, not about storming off in a huff when things hurt you," Toph said pointedly.

Zuko buried a small laugh in a snort, because he was hot headed enough not to finish proceedings, because he sometimes couldn't bear it if the proceedings didn't go with what he thought was right. "I haven't finished _all_ your court time."

"Also to be expected. I can't expect a flame god to be constant like a rock. But you have been here, and you have made an effort." Toph folded Zuko's hands over the small pebble. "Take it as it is, Zuko, a gift. I can't expect you to do what I do, but being here, being in court and listening to that Flame Nation's plea, despite you blaming yourself –"

"And walking out," Zuko reminded her.

"In spite of you walking out," Toph corrected him. "You have learned all that I can teach you about my court. It's time for you to see Yue."

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Merry Christmas Everyone! (It's almost Christmas Eve in my part of the world and we celebrate Christmas Eve more than we do Christmas morning, just so you guys know)

For everyone who wrote reviews, clicked kudos and showed appreciation, here's a very late chapter for you. If you're prone for reciprocity XD (Tis the season of giving after all) much thanks should go to jesterlady for taking time to beat my ESL grammar into submission and Archer Empyrean, who beat my writer's block into submission. Any errors left are my own.

Any suggestions, comments, criticisms could go into the small r&r box. As I wrote this years and years ago and just finished now, there might be some disjointedness that I missed and of course ideas for Yue's chapter that I need *wicked grin*

Again, please be patient, as said in the first chapter: kudos are definitely welcome, but ideas will drive the fic forward XD, this is a WIP that has stayed dormant for years in my harddrive, most of the ideas are gone already, but... I look forward to creating new ideas with you. It's why I still published, because I wanted to see if you guys were still interested. SO, here you go. Let it not be said that I am not a woman of my word! (Double negative XD I am too lazy right now to correct!)

Revised with the lovely jesterlady again for the parts that didn't make sense XD here you go.

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

I hope to see you when inspiration strikes!

iCe


End file.
